Maria, this is a brave and vital reflection. You nailed that core conflict... the choice between two forms of annihilation.
You talk about 'taking' your life back by refusing spiritual death. That resonates deeply. My own work explores a child who makes a similar choice... he builds a 'Ministry' to fight erasure.
He uses cold, bureaucratic forms as a way to claim agency in a hopeless situation. It's his way of being a 'good revolutionary'... by becoming the archivist of what the world wants to delete.
Your survival is its own form of resistance. Itβs a refusal to be erased.
The full novella is available for free here... https://silentwitnessin.substack.com/p/what-was-here?r=6r3orq (My Substack, "Field Notes From a Fallen Sky," is a free literary project exploring witness and erasure. It'd mean the world to me if you'd join to follow the work.)
more power to you, Maria, and I hope you're in a better place now. if you haven't read it yet, and if you have time, you might want to look for the book Joyful Militancy by carla bergman and Nick Montgomery (free copy online: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/joyful-militancy-bergman-montgomery).
Maria, this is a brave and vital reflection. You nailed that core conflict... the choice between two forms of annihilation.
You talk about 'taking' your life back by refusing spiritual death. That resonates deeply. My own work explores a child who makes a similar choice... he builds a 'Ministry' to fight erasure.
He uses cold, bureaucratic forms as a way to claim agency in a hopeless situation. It's his way of being a 'good revolutionary'... by becoming the archivist of what the world wants to delete.
Your survival is its own form of resistance. Itβs a refusal to be erased.
The full novella is available for free here... https://silentwitnessin.substack.com/p/what-was-here?r=6r3orq (My Substack, "Field Notes From a Fallen Sky," is a free literary project exploring witness and erasure. It'd mean the world to me if you'd join to follow the work.)
more power to you, Maria, and I hope you're in a better place now. if you haven't read it yet, and if you have time, you might want to look for the book Joyful Militancy by carla bergman and Nick Montgomery (free copy online: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/joyful-militancy-bergman-montgomery).
i have a feeling that it might resonate with you.
Thank you, friend. I am in a better place now, and Iβd love to read Joyful Militancy soon. all the best to you :)