Brain fog with big bang
and notes on sustaining oneself
Brain Fog with Big Bang
can’t work for even ten minutes
brain fogged and melancholy
can barely wash a plate but can
crack an egg onto hot pan, can watch
the golden yolk gleam. can pick
three spice bottles to shake and admire
the simple task of cooking
when depleted, this domestic
cyclical cosmology, your very own
big bang with crispy edges
and runny yolk.
When my melancholy says I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I search for the things I still can do. And last week, one of the things I could still do was fry some eggs. A good greasy breakfast always helps, especially when paired with a latte. After that, since I had given my melancholy enough time to be felt, my mood started to feel better.
It may seem obvious, but sustainability begins with sustenance. Food. What we need to take care of ourselves harmonizes with what the Earth needs to thrive. Sustainability is not some complex calculation of carbon credits or a marketing campaign to feel better about ourselves, it’s a relationship. It’s when we remember that we’re alive and animal, too.
I also feel the need to share jack giles’ words here. They replied to my Substack question a few weeks ago about mutual aid. I asked how we can build mutual aid authentically without falling into systemic patterns of charity. jack wrote, ‘we allow ourselves precarity, and ask for support when we need it. we spend less on building up security in isolation and more on building solidarity and trusting in reciprocity.’
I hope you are well, and I hope you allow yourself precarity.
